sharing Spurgeon

 This was my morning reading in Spurgeon, and I thought it was worth sharing because it is such an excellent reminder!

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.”
- Psalm 55:22

Care, even though exercised upon legitimate objects, if carried to excess, has in it the nature of sin. The precept to avoid anxious care is earnestly inculcated by our Saviour, again and again; it is reiterated by the apostles; and it is one which cannot be neglected without involving transgression: for the very essence of anxious care is the imagining that we are wiser than God, and the thrusting ourselves into his place to do for him that which he has undertaken to do for us. We attempt to think of that which we fancy he will forget; we labour to take upon ourselves our weary burden, as if he were unable or unwilling to take it for us. Now this disobedience to his plain precept, this unbelief in his Word, this presumption in intruding upon his province, is all sinful. Yet more than this, anxious care often leads to acts of sin. He who cannot calmly leave his affairs in God’s hand, but will carry his own burden, is very likely to be tempted to use wrong means to help himself. This sin leads to a forsaking of God as our counsellor, and resorting instead to human wisdom. This is going to the “broken cistern” instead of to the “fountain;” a sin which was laid against Israel of old. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. Thus want of confidence in God leads us to wander far from him; but if through simple faith in his promise, we cast each burden as it comes upon him, and are “careful for nothing” because he undertakes to care for us, it will keep us close to him, and strengthen us against much temptation. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee.”



Thanks for your prayers regarding  my scan on Friday.  It went really, really well and showed that the baby is just the right size!!  So no worries!  Now we just continue to pray that this last month will go smoothly.

Yesterday was my man's birthday!  We didn't do much to celebrate because he has been so focused on studying, but I made him a special birthday dinner (orange chicken - a family favorite) and his favorite dessert, strawberry rhubarb crumble.  Yum!  We are planning a proper birthday celebration later in the month while Sarah is here, after David finishes his exams and has some time to relax.  :)

David did end up going to the A&E this week to have the abscess on his neck lanced, so we are praying that it heals quickly now.  He went back this morning for a follow-up appointment and has another follow-up appointment scheduled for Tuesday, just to make sure that the inflammation is subsiding and the wound is closing properly.  This medical condition has definitely shifted David's plans (he had to cancel his preaching engagement this weekend and he will only be attending part of the General Assembly in Edinburgh next week) but we are praying for the Lord's sustaining grace and strength as he continues to prepare for his upcoming final exams and finishing his discourses.  It's been difficult for him to concentrate due to the pain and discomfort, along with the mental fatigue and general strain of being on medications for weeks now.

Everything is going well with baby.  :)  My midwife has no concerns about the baby's size, but she's going to book me for a growth scan next week anyway, just to give us both peace of mind and confirmation that everything's okay. . . because I've been getting so many comments about how small I am, and she just wants to be sure that her midwifery instincts that everything is okay are correct. I would appreciate your prayers that everything would continue to go smoothly!

ahhhh. (that's a sigh of relief and vindication.)

The midwife came to the house today for my check-up, and she said a couple of things that made me very, very happy.  First of all, she agreed with me that this is an extremely active baby (it was moving and kicking the whole time that she was poking around and trying to listen to the heartbeat).  Yes, this is the little darling who kept me awake for a substantial portion of last night by his or her restless meanderings from one side of my ribcage to the other.

Secondly, re: my concern about the size of my small baby bump, which has been scornfully remarked upon by less-than-helpful observers. . . well, according to my midwife, I am "all baby" -- she told me that the baby is the perfect size for this stage in pregnancy, that my stomach muscles are strong and well-developed which is why I'm not sagging and "ballooning" more, and I am simply in good shape which is why I'm carrying the baby excellently.  Amazing how much better her comments have made me feel!  :)  Peer pressure - and the knowledge that I have the smallest baby bump out of all the women in my antenatal class - was making me wonder and question and doubt myself.  Funny how it's possible to vacillate between worrying that the baby's too small and then thinking that I don't look pregnant, I look fat.  Both have been disproved today.  Hurrah for wonderful midwives!

I'm not sure how many people are reading my blog anymore, as comments have dropped to "0"!  I promise I will keep it updated!  :)

April was a busy month.  The students participated in the evangelism module here in Glasgow for a week, which was also a week full of houseguests for us.  Then there were two trips to Inverness for two sets of lectures (more than usual).  A couple friends who were expecting had their babies (congrats to the Beers and the Keddies!). . . a friend got engaged (congrats Jackie!). . . and so on.

I started my antenatal classes.  They have been mildly helpful so far.  There are 12 women in the class and I think probably only two or three of them (including myself) are married.  And I now understand why so many people have told me that I "don't look pregnant" - I definitely have the smallest baby bump by far, even smaller than the women who are due a couple of weeks after me.  I guess it must be because I am tall and I have a long torso?  The other thing I have learned from these classes is that out of 12 women, only myself and one other lady said that we felt positive about the pregnancy/labour/birth experience and didn't really have anything negative to share.  That is sad. . .

The girl who was sitting next to me in class was stunned to find out that I am planning a home birth.  "But you can't have any pain relief!" she gasped.  "Uh, you can TOO," was my response.  Honestly, the midwife brings you your own personal supply of Entenox (gas and air) to use during the labour if you feel like it!!  And you have many other options available as well - the only option not available is the epidural.  How people can be so badly misinformed about a home birth is beyond me.  My reasons for a home birth are simple: 1) I'm not sick, so why should I go to hospital?, 2) I hate hospitals and find them scary, and stress/anxiety does not make your labour progress very well, so I am staying in my own comfortable home where I can have things the way I like it, 3) I am avoiding the risky infection-ridden hospital rooms and corridors, 4) my husband can relax and be a part of our child's birth rather than being treated like he is in the way, 5) I can have the personal attention of two midwives rather than competing for the attention of the on-call midwife in the labour and delivery ward along with however-many-women-decided-to-go-into-labour-that-day. . . . and the list could go on.

My midwife will be making a "home birth assessment" visit to our house tomorrow morning, so I have tried to straighten things up in preparation. 

I made a creamy bacon-and-mushroom carbonara tonight.  It turned out much, much better than my last attempt at carbonara (which was edible but not aesthetically pleasing).  I also have made a couple of surprising simple beef-in-gravy dishes recently which have been quite tasty.  I love it when good beef is affordable!

Very grateful to report that I have had some relief from the pain in my back which plagued my pregnancy up to this point.  The visits to the physiotherapist helped and I find that if I am very careful not to overdo it when I am out and about, and if I rest a lot, that has cut down on the back pain as well.  Now it's my hips that are really acting up, which has slowed me down even further because I can't walk far without pain!  However, I am still trying to stay active and keep up a regular, but gentle, exercise routine.

Today I had the opportunity to go for a lovely walk at Loch Lomond Shores and the Balloch area, with my friend Naomi.  The weather was stunningly beautiful - a lovely, sunny, warm spring day with all the trees in blossom.  Perfect for an outing and a stroll along the river!

April was busy, but this month will be busier still.  David is frantically trying to finish up his three senior-year discourses which must be turned in by the end of this week.  Poor man, he has gotten a nasty infection (it started as an ingrown hair) on his neck which is now excruciatingly painful and swollen.  He is on antibiotics for it but the pain is very intense and has made it very difficult for him to concentrate on writing his papers.  Then he has a preaching engagement on the Isle of Skye in a bit over a week, immediately followed by a five-day stay in Edinburgh for the General Assembly, which is then immediately followed at the end of the month by his last trip to Inverness - for final exams!!

We are eagerly anticipating a visit from David's dad and sister. . . Sarah in particular is planning to stay with us for about ten days at the end of this month, which will be absolutely lovely.  And then my mom is planning to fly over at the end of June to visit for about three weeks, around the time the baby is due!  :)